“We all know the propaganda: marijuana rots the brain. Marijuana kills brain cells, the memory, all will to live. Marijuana is killing society, isn’t it?”

“The government certainly says so.”

“And the government is, in it’s own pedantic way, never wrong.”

“I take it that you disagree.”

“Yes. I disagree with that assessment of the situation.”

“So you smoke?”

”No, actually. I mean, I did, but I don’t any more.”

“One of those ‘it’s not for me any more’ kind of people, huh?”

“Yeah. It just doesn’t give me the same kind of buzz that it used to.”

“But you think it should be legalized.”

“Most definitely. It’s nowhere near as bad as, say, tobacco.”

“Everyone knows this, though. Marijuana is a stalking horse.”

“If it was a stalking horse, then it would be legal.”

“True. What about other drugs?”

“Like what? Cocaine? Sure. Legalize the lot of them.”

“Really?”

“Fuck yes. Think about it. There are some drugs that are just as addictive as cocaine or heroin, but they’re perfectly legal. Why?”

“What drugs?”

“Caffeine. Nicotene. Alcohol.”

“They aren’t.”

“They are. Have you ever seen a real solid coffee addict? They’re just as bad as some junkie. The only difference is that one drug is socially acceptable and one isn’t.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I do. That’s one of the problems we have in this country: everything is done by consensus, but the unpopular opinions aren’t allowed to be heard.”

“They’re unpopular because they’re wrong.”

“Have you ever smoked pot?”

“Of course.”

“But you don’t want it legalized?”

“Fuck no. That would take all the fun out of it.”

“That’s a prime argument for legalization right there.”

“There are no good arguments for legalization.”

“There are no good arguments against it, either.”

“Well, that’s true, too.”

“See? If you think about it, there are two sides to everything.”

“Doesn’t matter how many sides there are to anything. I’m still right.”

“It’s assholes like you that are keeping people from getting high in peace.”

“Damn skippy.”

“And you’re proud of this?”

“Why not? I don’t owe anyone anything.”

“That’s a very fucked up attitude to take.”

“Must have been all the drugs.”